Monday, November 28, 2005

Purgatory?! I thought I reserved a direct flight!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!

I don't often do these online tests, but I was drawn to this one because of the religious theme. When I looked at the questions, I thought they were interesting, too. Here are a few of the questions that leaped out at me for one reason or another.

Please select your gender.
(Only two options, male or female.) This one leaped out at me because I wonder how it's relevant. Am I more likely to go straight to Paradise if, for example, I'm female? Or maybe the assumption is that God (like the Church) favours men!

Do you intentionally cause harm to yourself?
I wonder what prompted them to include this question. There's a separate question on whether you've ever attempted suicide.

Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery?
Ooh, that's a good one! Ever indulge in a little schadenfreude, folks? I like to think I'm a nice guy, but I had to answer Yes, given the word "ever".

Have you ever engaged in oral or anal sex?
I don't really see the point of the question. If I like oral sex, does that make me more lustful? I thought oral sex was virtually universal in our generation. How many people can honestly answer No, I wonder?

Would you sooner go without sex than go without good-tasting food?
Ooh, another good one! I scored "moderate" on the gluttonous scale, but "high" on the lustful scale. If I answered that question the other way, would those two scores reverse?

Have you ever intentionally given bad advice?
I guess I'm just not a devious person — I can't imagine under what circumstances I would intentionally give bad advice to someone who trusted me.

Without further ado, here are my results:

Purgatory (Repenting Believers)High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

If any of the results are inaccurate, it would be the heretics scale. Very low? I don't think they examined my unorthodox beliefs closely enough.

I think the results demonstrate that, on the whole, I'm a nice guy. But not good enough, apparently! How perfect does one have to be to make it to heaven without the stopover en route?

I'm sure it was that "lustful" rating that brought me up short of my destination. Suddenly I'm reminded of Father Guido Sarducci's masturbation skit.


At 9:17 PM, November 28, 2005, Blogger aaron said...

I scored very high for limbo and for Level 6, but they stuck me in Level 6 just the same. Feel free to visit if you ever feel like slumming.

Other scores -- high on Lustful, moderate on Fraudulent(?), low on Gluttonous, Wrathful, Violent and Treacherous, and very low on Purgatory and Prodigal.

At 10:12 PM, November 28, 2005, Blogger Bill said...

Aaron I guess the level 6 thing was because you're a self professed atheist.

I checked by redoing the test and checking the question on belief in God to no, Its a go to level 6 , do not pass go do not collect squat card.

At 3:24 AM, November 29, 2005, Blogger Aginoth said...

It's level 6 and Dis for me...

At 7:49 AM, November 29, 2005, Blogger CyberKitten said...

It's level 6 and Dis for me...

..and me too not surprisingly.... At least most of my friends will be there... We'll have some great discussions to make the millenia pass a bit quicker.....

At 12:30 PM, November 30, 2005, Blogger LoryKC said...

I took this a while back and got Purgatory but took it again here just to see if I've become more enlightened.
I'll see you in Purgatory!

I must have answered something differently though...last time I received two high scores (lustful and gluttonous) and this time I only got one.

At 12:45 PM, November 30, 2005, Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

• Aaron:
Feel free to visit if you ever feel like slumming.


• Aginoth / Cyberkitten:
It wouldn't surprise me at all if the people in "level 6" are more interesting than the people in the higher levels. I don't want to think about what that says about me.

Mary P. went through and checked off all the "right" answers. I guess it isn't possible to go directly to Paradise — the best anyone can do is purgatory.

This isn't right, theologically speaking! Surely the saints don't put in any time in purgatory? They have superfluous merits to share with the rest of us!

I'm glad you'll be joining me in Purgatory. It looks like Mary P. will fall short, so I'll need someone to talk to.

Otherwise, I'll be forced to take Aaron up on his "slumming" offer.

At 1:03 AM, December 01, 2005, Blogger LoryKC said...

I know you aren't supposed to be able to travel between Heaven and Hell but from Purgatory???
Can we visit level six on Friday nights? ; )

At 2:53 PM, December 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jack noted in his Blog that the Pope is abolishing Limbo so all you level six types are now level 5's.

At 2:56 PM, December 01, 2005, Blogger Bill said...

I guess that means Lorykc's Friday night excursions (if possible) will be less of a journey.

At 8:42 PM, December 01, 2005, Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

• Lory:
Good theology! You're thinking of the account of the Rich Man and Lazarus in Luke 16. Verse 26 says, "between us [Abraham and Lazarus] and you [the Rich Man] a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able." The point seems to be that one cannot pass from the place of bliss to the place of torment and vice versa.

But purgatory is a place of torment. Perhaps it is possible to move from one level of torment to another.

But don't indulge in too many carnal pleasures on your Friday nights in Level 6, or your time in purgatory may be extended!

• Anonymous:
I didn't know the Pope could do that! He has powers poor Protestants like me had never conceived of!

At 11:18 AM, December 21, 2006, Anonymous WiccaBear said...

W00t! 8th Circle of Hell for me!!!

Of course, being a gay witch the test is a bit biased.

Thank The Goddess we don't believe in Hell!!!

At 11:55 AM, December 21, 2006, Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

If you're happy with the result, that's the main thing.


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