Purgatory?! I thought I reserved a direct flight!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!

I don't often do these online tests, but I was drawn to this one because of the religious theme. When I looked at the questions, I thought they were interesting, too. Here are a few of the questions that leaped out at me for one reason or another.

Please select your gender.
(Only two options, male or female.) This one leaped out at me because I wonder how it's relevant. Am I more likely to go straight to Paradise if, for example, I'm female? Or maybe the assumption is that God (like the Church) favours men!

Do you intentionally cause harm to yourself?
I wonder what prompted them to include this question. There's a separate question on whether you've ever attempted suicide.

Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery?
Ooh, that's a good one! Ever indulge in a little schadenfreude, folks? I like to think I'm a nice guy, but I had to answer Yes, given the word "ever".

Have you ever engaged in oral or anal sex?
I don't really see the point of the question. If I like oral sex, does that make me more lustful? I thought oral sex was virtually universal in our generation. How many people can honestly answer No, I wonder?

Would you sooner go without sex than go without good-tasting food?
Ooh, another good one! I scored "moderate" on the gluttonous scale, but "high" on the lustful scale. If I answered that question the other way, would those two scores reverse?

Have you ever intentionally given bad advice?
I guess I'm just not a devious person — I can't imagine under what circumstances I would intentionally give bad advice to someone who trusted me.

Without further ado, here are my results:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

If any of the results are inaccurate, it would be the heretics scale. Very low? I don't think they examined my unorthodox beliefs closely enough.

I think the results demonstrate that, on the whole, I'm a nice guy. But not good enough, apparently! How perfect does one have to be to make it to heaven without the stopover en route?

I'm sure it was that "lustful" rating that brought me up short of my destination. Suddenly I'm reminded of Father Guido Sarducci's masturbation skit.